When we think of Denial to Acceptance we are reminded of Elizabeth Kubler Ross.
Kubler Ross, a Swiss American psychiatrist postulated that people experiencing grief go through five stages known as the five-stages of grief model. This model was postulated by Ross in 1969 in her book ‘On Death and Dying’ which was based on her work with terminally ill patients. According to the model, a person who is struck with grief (especially terminal illness) undergoes five emotions. The first one being denial wherein the person denies the existence of the grieving issue - by saying that the diagnosis of an illness is mistaken. Then the person feels anger and frustration as to why this grieving situation or an illness has stricken him/her.
After anger, the next stage is of bargaining where in the
person tries to crack a deal with God to give him/her some extra time so that
he/she can fulfil his/her last wish such as - attending daughter’s wedding
before death. The fourth stage is that of depression where hope slowly dies and
the person starts becoming mournful thinking that anyway he/she is going to die
and therefore there is no point in doing anything. The fifth and the final
stage is the stage of acceptance. At this point, the person is accepts the
inevitable future and tries to fight on. Now, the individual has reached a
stable emotional state.
Even though there are many criticisms against
this theory, a co-author of Ross’s book, a person called David Kessler has
applied this model to the COVID – 19 pandemic which beautifully explains the
thought reversals of people with respect to their attitude towards this
pandemic.
The application goes like this:
o Denial : “This virus won’t affect us.”
o Anger : “You are making me stay at home and taking away
all my activities.”
o Bargaining : “Okay if I social distance for two weeks
everything will be better right?”
o Depression : “I am sad because I don’t know when this will
end.”
o Acceptance : “This is happening and I have to figure out how
to proceed. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to
work virtually.”
Please Note: Acceptance is where the power lies. We tend to find control in acceptance. When we accept the inevitable half the battle is won. Therefore instead of becoming panic we shall learn to accept the fact that Covid-19 is a reality but we shall learn to live with it or learn to handle it by taking all possible precautions.
Wishing you all the best. Stay safe. Stay healthy!!
Y. D. Swathi
M.Sc. Clinical Psychology
Kateel Ashok Pai Memorial Institute, Shivamogga
Very interesting write up ..congratulations Swathi
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